| By Sherman Frederick/Properly Subversive A lot of water has gone under the bridge since COVID-19 hit the scene in 2020. One of the great regrets of this time will certainly be how we treated the elderly and the sick.  In my own experience, I lost a good friend who fell ill during the teeth of the pandemic. A time before the vaccine and a time in which we had more questions about the disease than answers. He became hospitalized and quarantined. Hospital authorities in their ignorance at the time forbade his wife of 50-plus years from visiting. After several weeks in what essentially became a prison, he died without seeing friends or his wife. It was a horrible way to go. Recently I received correspondence from a Battle Born reader who told a similar story of her mother trapped in a care facility. She wrote to me to say that “My mom was happy and busy and well taken care of one year and the next she was masked (and) confined to her room. I hope one day someone writes a retrospective of what COVID lockdowns did to all of us,” adding ”(I expressed in an email) my concerns about my mom’s deteriorating mental condition during the worst of the lockdowns. I wasn’t allowed to visit her for months on end. She passed away just two weeks after her 93rd birthday. She lived a long life but was tired of the life that the lockdowns had damaged, so she closed her eyes one night and died.” A nurse practitioner wrote back with this news: “Oh my dear, I am about to get on my soapbox. “The emotional suffering we have seen during this pandemic far surpasses any physical pain. “We have had a handful of patients die from COVID related illness, but many more from the isolation and despair of being separated from their loved ones. They stop eating. They refuse their medication. They lie in their beds staring at the wall. They are confused and scared. We (meaning nurses, doctors, care workers at every facility) sit with our patients and hold their hand (against the rules) and give them hugs (also an offense we could be fined for), but it still does not take the place of their loved ones. They need their sons, their daughters, their husbands and their wives. “They are dying of loneliness and isolation and a lack of stimulation. They are suffering. Many days I go home in tears as I can ease someone’s physical suffering but can do nothing for the emptiness in their hearts. I am not their daughter. I am someone in a mask and goggles looking like a spaceman. I take my mask down so they can see a human face. (yes, this puts me at risk but so be it) . Still, they look confused and so childlike as they ask me “why don’t they come see me?” How do I explain to them that the rules are there to keep them “safe”? We all are broken by this as we cannot do the very thing our patients need most. They need the treatment we are being denied the ability to give them; a family’s presence. “The authorities come into facilities and tell them to shut everyone in their rooms. No activities, no visitation, or visitation at a distance with everyone behind a barrier of some sort. Everyone is too afraid of being shut down to protest. The few of us who dare to push back against the restrictions are looked on with disbelief. “This is beyond cruel. Yes, the mortality rate is awful in those who are elderly. I’ll bet if you asked them, though, everyone of those patients, infected or not, would want their loved ones with them despite the risks. “PS. I gave your mom a big hug today. I know it doesn’t ease the pain of not seeing her, but I wanted you to know.” Dear readers, this Christmas season let’s remember and treasure the aged and infirm. If this kind of thing ever rolls around again – and you know it will – let’s resolve ourselves to do better. ONE MORE THING – Christmastime is really great because you can shout “don’t come in here” and people will think you’re wrapping presents. When you just want to drink a glass of wine in peace and not share your chocolates. — If my car says “correct tire pressure,” does this mean my tire pressure is correct or I should correct my tire pressure? – Can someone please tell me how “rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub” became a nursery rhyme?  Merry Christmas everyone (and Happy Festivus to Seinfeld fans). Keep the holidays jolly by avoiding as many soreheads as you can, laughing a little, and, when appropriate, questioning authority. “Properly Subversive” is commentary written by Sherman R. Frederick, a Nevada Hall of Fame journalist and co-founder of Battle Born Media, a news organization dedicated to the preservation of community newspapers. You can reach him by email at shermfrederick@ gmail. com. |